Chapter 3 of What Lay Beyond the Woods

How’s everyone’s Saturday going?! (Or…you know, whatever day it is that you read this.) Most of you are probably over there wondering if I gave myself a few days to write this new chapter. My answer? YES!! I started working on it last night at 8 o’clock!!  I slapped this one together in less than twenty-four hours! I’m quite proud of myself on that! XD (Honestly, guys, DON’T do that to yourself.) Though, now that Into the Lamp is finished, I’m hoping to have more time to work on this! I’ve got a lot of exciting things planned to Robyn’s story! Stay tuned for updates on that. 

Also, brief note. I’m HORRIBLE at fight scenes, and this chapter has one in it. So, it’s pretty cringy, beware and proceed with caution. (Also, in your critiquing maybe focus on how to make this fight scene better. I need some help. And, as always, I wanna hear overall thoughts! ESPECIALLY if you loved it!!!!!!! It really helps me to write the next chapter if I know people are wanting to read it!!!!!! Thank you in advance! Y’all are THE BEST!!!!!!!! <33)

Without further ado….the story! 

CHAPTER 3
The sound of the trapdoor slamming shut echoed throughout the tunnel. “I think the thief went this way,” a ruff voice shouted. My heart doubled its pace. Our escape route had been discovered.
Little John jerked my arm forward and drew us into a run. For the next few minutes, all I heard was my boots hitting the damp dirt, Little John’s heavy breathing, and the shouts of Calvin’s men headed toward us. I tried to clear my thoughts, but the only thing my mind wanted to do was recall the past. Three years ago, before my world blew to pieces. Who was that girl? She had a carefree grin and an innocent face. Yet no one saw the dash of mischievousness lingering behind those wide green eyes.
The tunnel took a sharp turn. I glanced over to Little John, squinting. His furrowed brows and the intense look on his face showed him calculating the odds of escape. Sometimes he erred on the side of caution, while I choose to jump straight into the midst of danger. As long as I had my faithful bow by my side, that is. We rounded another corner, my breathing growing quicker and my pace slowing. At the end of the short path ahead was a narrow arch. The sun’s beams of light stretched into the round opening.
I wanted to shout, if only to show Calvin I had, once again, outsmarted him, when I heard muffled voices. Not the noises coming from behind, but the sound of men who might’ve been waiting for an order. We came to the opening out of the tunnel. I peeked. Outside there stood a hill that blocked any view of the grounds outside the monastery. I motioned for Little John to follow me as I crawled up the hill and lay flat on my stomach. Above the ridge, a large cluster of men, dressed in the uniforms of the Sheriff of Nottingham’s personal guards, gathered outside the stone building. Woods huddled to one side of the perfectly manicured grounds. I could always disappear inside them. The perfect path to my freedom.
“We’ve got one shot out of here.” I grabbed the bow on my back.
“What’re you planning?” Little John asked.
“I’m not surrendering. So, it looks like we’re fighting our way out of here.” I fumbled about grabbing a string to restring my bow.
I heard another shout from behind. Calvin’s men in the tunnel moved closer. Little John jumped to his feet, drawing out the sword by his side. I glanced behind me. The men guarding the grounds were in a deep conversation, not paying us any attention. My heart pounded, and my hands shook so hard I couldn’t grip the bow to properly string it. The loud thumps of Calvin’s men’s feet drawing closer counted down the seconds I had left.
“Robyn,” Little John warned, as time slowly ran out. Fate reached the end of the tunnel. I grunted, shoved my bow away, and rose, drawing out my sword.
“Follow me!” I shouted to my right-hand man, dashing toward the cluster of men standing above the hill.
Those guards only had time to turn their heads our way before I struck the first man. He fell as soon as the tip of my sword pierced his chest. I ignored the sickening pit in my gut, forming at the knowledge that I killed another man and then engaged the guard next to him. From the corner of my eye, another man raised his sword. I ducked right as the tip of his blade drove forward so it struck my opponent. In his shock, I finished him off.
The clash of swords and the sound of heavy breaths clouded my hearing. The smell of sweat and blood filled the stretch of grounds in front of the monastery. I never wavered, never let my eyes fall off my opponents.
Two more guards rushed forward. I reached for the arrow in the pack on my back. I engaged the first man and threw my arrow in the other man’s direction. I didn’t need to look to know it had found its mark.
Across from me, Little John held his ground, but he didn’t have the bulk of guards targeting him. The pit in my gut widened, but now for an entirely different reason. Calvin targeted only me. Was this more than just an attempt to arrest me?
I kicked away another opponent, spun, and sent an arrow toward a guard who came from the hill I had been at. I noticed Little John moved slower, probably like me. My lungs no longer wanted to hold enough air. I breathed too fast and too hard. Our energy drained more, and Calvin’s guards never ceased to engage us.
I huffed and shouted, “Little John-”
All Calvin’s men needed was one second of me being distracted. I never finished my sentence because a sharp pain filled the back of my head and spread forward, taking over my thoughts. And made the world go black.
***
My head spun. I opened my eyes to find a dim room. Its walls were a bland color, and it had nothing worth noting except for the firm cot I laid on. I shifted to a seating position, squinting my eyes as if it would stop the pounding pain circling around in my head. Everything felt disoriented, like maybe if I titled my head so far the whole world would collapse. I shook my head, trying to gain back my steadiness, but it only sent more sparks of pain hurtling through it. Harsh, low voices filtered through the thick walls. I whipped around right as a portion of one wall moved open. A secret door. I would’ve admired the brilliance behind it, if the very man I wanted to avoid hadn’t stepped inside with two guards behind him.
My heart stopped. His dark blue eyes watched my every move. I stood, hoping he couldn’t see the slight unsteadiness of my footing or the way I wanted to shrink from his gaze. Calvin Taylor’s face had, at one time, been flawless, but now scars lined its every nook and corner. His dark hair was cut short and framed that scarred face. I had my own scars, but they were hidden. One could search for them, but they’d have to know my darkest secrets, my long-forgotten past. If only I could forget it.
“Someone’s back from the dead,” I muttered.
Calvin didn’t respond. He circled the room, those eyes never leaving his target – me. “You’re in a lot of trouble Robyn.”
“What else is new?”
He walked full circle and now stared me straight in the eye. I wondered what past he hid behind his. A person’s eyes were supposed to be the way you understood what someone hid, but not so with Calvin. And definitely not with me. We knew how to stay in the shadows, how to creep around when no one looked. How to keep scars hidden and let another’s plans be revealed. We knew how to win. And that’s why he was my greatest threat. How did you outmaneuver someone who knew your every move?
“King Henry wants you hanged.”
“So, I’ve heard. Is that your plan? ‘Cause I need to know how long I have to make my escape.”
Calvin laughed. I cringed. He only did that when he thought he had the upper hand. The scariest thing was that he was rarely wrong. “I know your tricks, Robyn. Escape isn’t going to be easy.”
“But it’s not impossible. Even prison cells have a weak point.”
“Not this one.”
I took a second look around the box-like room. The only exit was the hidden door. The dull colors made me feel like death’s grimy fingers were wrapped around this room, ready to finally seize me to the fate I deserved. I suppressed a shudder.
“There is a way to clear your name, though.” Calvin strode over to one side of the room, fingering something in his shirt’s pocket. “I know you have the plans.”
“You’ve heard about the assassination plan? Or are you a part of it?” I raised my brows. This might’ve been the one time I actually wanted to hear his answer.
“Heard. I know why you want to stop it, and I’m sure you can guess why I have the same desire.”
“To be noticed?” I guessed. “Though, if it hasn’t happened by now, then I doubt it ever will.”
He spun around. Those blue eyes blazing with a fire. He knew my weak points, and I knew his. “You know nothing-”
“What do you want me to do?” I didn’t need to hear his backstory. Unless he planned to explain why he wasn’t dead, nothing else was of any use.
“Help me stop it. Then, I’ll clear your name. You can go back to Locksley Town and-”
I shook my head. Going back never made it into the plan. No, all I had to do was go forward. One day, the world would see me do something right. My own desires didn’t differ far from Calvin’s.
“Robyn, you can’t succeed without my help. And I need those plans. Do you really want to spend the rest of your short life as a thief?”
“I prefer famous outlaw, if you don’t mind.”
Calvin huffed. I knew he wanted more than he was letting on. And there was only one way he could know that I had those plans. If the merchant I stole them from was supposed to deliver them to him. Whether he admitted it or not, Calvin was a part of the assassination plan. I walked over to him, shoulders back, head high. I was mere inches from his face. It pained my heart to be this close for reasons I didn’t understand.
Keeping my gaze steady on him, I whispered, “You’ve made one mistake. Never trust a thief.” And then I pulled out the sword by his side.

45 Comments

  • Victoria

    OH MY GOODNESS, THAT HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE CHAPTER YET!!!!!!!!!!! First of all, that fight scene was AWESOME. Fight scenes are so hard to write, but I think you pulled it off VERY well! You used really descriptive adjectives and verbs that made me feel like I was there!!! I could see every movement in my head play out. So yeah, I think you did a really good job describing it!!! I will say, there was one sentence that kinda confused me. It said, “I engaged the first man and threw my arrow in the other man’s direction”. Does that mean she shot both of them with arrows or did she do something different to the first man? That was the only sentence I had to reread and try to figure out, but besides that, I LOVED THE ENTIRE SCENE!!! I’m a sucker for archers so when she pulled out her arrows I got super excited! XD Also, I ADORE the sentence that said “Fate reached the end of the tunnel”. That would totally be a quote I would write down to remember! Also, also, I love the way you described Calvin! All those scars and her remark that “someone’s back from the dead” (which was another quote I love) XD makes me super interested in his past with Robyn! Anyway, keep up the AMAZING work, Maggie!!!!! This is just so good and I can’t wait to read the next chapter (especially after that cliffhanger)! 😉

    • Maggie

      OH MY GOODNESS, VICTORIA, THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Aw, you really think so? IKR! Fight scenes are just the HARDEST! Girl, you just…I’M SOOO EXCITED that it felt like you were there. I mean that’s just TOO INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! Just THANK YOU A TRILLION TIMES OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Yeah, I couldn't ever word that sentence right. THANK YOU for pointing it out, though. I'll either try to rewrite it or just cut it. Depends if I can make it better. Aw, GIRL, YOU'RE JUST TOO SWEET!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! *gasp* ME, TOO!!!! I LOVE archers/archery. In fact, I've written WAY too many archers to count. I'll be sure to add more scenes with archery then for you!!!!! YAY!!! When I wrote it, I was like, OH, YEAH, this turned out SUPER AWESOME!!!!!!! I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking that! 😃 OH MY GOODNESS, GIRL, THIS COMMENT IS JUST MAKING ME BEYOND HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!! <33 THANK YOU!!!!! I also REALLY liked the way that whole moment with Calvin turned out. It was just AWESOME! (I actually have been SUPER excited for some scenes with Calvin and Robyn, so they'll probably come up A LOT in the story.) YAY!! That was another favorite quote of mine! I heard her say it in my head, and I was like YES, that is DEFINITELY getting put in the chapter! YAY!!!! THANK YOU AGAIN, VICTORIA!!!!! YAY! I can't wait until you can read the next chapter. I've got some AWESOME ideas!!!! (I KNOW! It's like I can't write a story unless we have LOADS of cliffhangers. 😉 )

  • Joy Caroline

    I thought this chapter was excellent! I really enjoyed it. There’s only a couple comments I thought to make.
    At the beginning of the story you said the voice was ruff. Did you mean rough or gruff? I could be completely wrong, though, lol. I’d just recommend you maybe look up the word you used in Webster’s dictionary or some other dictionary you like, just to check.
    For the fight scene, I think you did phenomenal! I struggle with those action-packed, violent scenes, too, so I totally get where you’re coming from. As I was reading, I thought of one suggestion that might help you. I feel like pacing is one of the most important things in these scenes. The pacing might be a bit slow in your scene because there are so many words. You could cut some out to make the scene tighter. More description is better for more thoughtful scenes. For ones that are strictly action, you could do a bit of trimming without losing anything.
    Such as the sentence, “I never wavered, never let my eyes fall off my opponents.” You could say instead, “My train of sight never wavered” or something like that, to cut down on word count without losing any of that pizzazz. (Pizzazz? I never use that word 😂)
    Or the part, “I ducked right as the tip of his blade drove forward so it struck my opponent. In his shock, I finished him off.” You could say something like, “As his blade dove, I charged right and heard his shocked groan as I finished him off.” (That sentence is definitely not perfect, but it’s a way to cut down on words and add “shocked groan” as a bit of a picture in the reader’s mind.)
    So yeah, I feel like the only thing to work on is your pacing and choosing the tightest words you can for the fight scene. Everything else was just phenomenal! I love the next scene with Calvin and Robyn. As Victoria said, the quotes, “Someone’s back from the dead” and “Fate reached the end of the tunnel” are just WOW! Great job, girl!! *clapping and confetti
    I can tell this story is going to be AMAZING! And Robyn needs a love interest, please please pretty please.
    I know this comment has gotten super long so I need to end it, but I just wanted to tell you I started reading the first book in Chronicles of Narnia. My parents gave me the entire series as an early Christmas present just today, and I’m almost 100 pages into The Magician’s Nephew.
    Please continue giving us updates on Into the Lamp! I’m behind you all the way.

    • Maggie

      THANK YOU, JOY CAROLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Yep! Lay 'em on me, Girl!!! XD

      Hehehe...just like me to come up with made up words. I normally look up to make sure my words are correct, I just haven't been reading over these chapters before I publish them. 😂 I have no logic. 🤔

      Aw, THANK YOU, GIRL!!!!!!!!!! I've been working on my fight scenes for YEARS now, so maybe something's paying off. *shrugs* Ooooh, these are GREAT SUGGESTIONS. THANK YOU! I'll totally look things over and work on all of that. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! <33

      Aw, Girl, you're just TOO SWEET!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! YAY!! That has actually been one of my favorite scenes so far. YAY!! I'm glad you think so! They were some of my FAVORITE lines in this chapter, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dancing around in the confetti* *dramatically bows* XD

      You think so? THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! <33 THAT MEANS A LOT!!!!!!! YES!! I agree. Robyn DOES need a love interest. I'm trying to set one up between two certain people that I'm not saying who but you'll understand more in later chapters....hopefully. XD

      No worries about long comments. They're da BEST sometimes!!!!! Ooooh, really? HOW EXCITING!!!!!!!! Wow, it must be SUPER good!! Lucky that you got an early Christmas present. TOTALLY jealous over here! 😉 Yes! I TOTALLY plan to! Right now, everything's been uneventful. I submitted to that one agent a week ago, but that's it so far. Haven't heard anything back, but I probably won't for a few weeks. In the meantime, I'm working on Robyn, Fairly Impish (that short story I talked about), and planning my next novel out. (Also, I saw your new post. I probably won't be able to read/comment until later tomorrow, 'cause of stuff going on. But don't think I'm ignoring you or haven't seen it. Just been a little busy. I HAVE NOT forgotten you amazing site!!!!!!)

      • Joy Caroline

        You’re very welcome! I’m glad I could help. Thank you for posting the chapters for us! I’m really enjoying watching the story unfold. The first draft might be a bit messy, but I think it’s also the most beautiful in some ways. It’s kind of surreal the first time you actually put your story into words!
        Yes, I am super excited to read the series! I should have time since I have two weeks off from school. That, and more time for writing, of course. Yay! Again, giving you kudos for moving on so quickly to the next thing!
        Aww, no worries at all! The writer’s life is the busy life. (Okay, that sounded cringey, but it’s true. Thanks for all the support!!

        • Maggie

          Aw, Girl, you’re ABSOLUTELY WELCOME!!! THANK YOU for taking the time to read and comment. It means the world to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!! I’ve been having a blast writing Robyn’s story so far!!! Oh, yeah, I AGREE!!!!!! TOTALLY RELATING OVER HERE!!!!!!!! It’s also fun to look back and think I wrote this. Even if it’s a mess of jumbled up words I still WROTE it. And that’s just AWESOME!

          COOL!!!!! YES! I’m hoping to get some MAJOR reading done myself! But I still have that six thousand word short story to write in two weeks and I’ve barely begun. So, my holiday break is probably gonna be filled with writing. YES! Girl, I’ve seriously had a hard time getting into the next story. My brain has this very strange idea that after completing one novel it’s supposed to rest. Crazy, right? XD But, it’s gonna have to change its attitude, ’cause I’m ready to get started on my new novel. (Now it just needs a plot…🤔) Would you be interested in a post about my new story idea?

          I AM gonna get to it, though. As soon as I can. But, yes, a writer’s life is a busy one. (Nah, that didn’t sound cringey, it’s VERY true!)

          • Joy Caroline

            Of course!
            So true! After writing this comment, I’m actually going to dive into reading The Apostle’s Sister because I couldn’t wait just one more night, lol. I expect to cringe but also to be very proud that I actually wrote the thing.
            I would love a post about your story idea! Ideas are always the most exciting the first time they present themselves. It’s fun to read other people’s ideas in glorified detail 🙂

            • Maggie

              YAY!! THAT SOUNDS EXCITING!!!!!!!! Let me know how it all goes!!!!!!! Don’t cringe. What you wrote has its own purpose and beauty. Be proud that these are YOUR words! And that means something! YOU’VE GOT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33

              YAY!!! I'll DEFINITELY have to get one together!!!! I've got this SUPER awesome titled that I just CANNOT WAIT to share with everyone for it!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! AGREED!!!!!!!!!!! YES, YES, YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

              • Joy Caroline

                Thanks! I’m about 10 pages into The Apostle’s Sister right now and actually, I really like some of the opening scenes. I think I need to keep Temira’s childhood flashbacks in the final draft.
                Can’t wait for the post! Have a wonderful writing week!

                • Maggie

                  COOL!!!!!!! THAT’S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sooooooo HAPPY for you!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! I knew it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought! Oh, YES! Flashbacks are COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! I’m already getting together some ideas for it, so I can’t wait to do the post!!!!!!!! <33 THANK YOU, GIRL!!!!!!!!! You, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOO, JOY CAROLINE!

  • Jane

    That was FANTABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought you did really good with the fight scene!!!!! It’s kinda the way I write my fight scenes, so either were both good at them or were both bad at them. But I think yours was GREAT!!!!!! I LOVE this chapter!!!!!! And the fact that we have no idea what happened between Calvin and Robyn is such a great hook for readers!!!!!!!! I should know, since I’m am VERY hooked on this story right now. I think I read the whole thing with my mouth slightly open. XD
    I love how I feel what Robyn’s feeling!! It’s like I’m right there with her!! When I read something that’s really good, its like I’m watching a movie sometimes and your doing such a great job with that here!!!!!! (you did a great job of it with “In To The Lamp” to)
    I do have one question, do you have any ideas on how to come up with names for towns/kingdoms? Because EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I try to write a something, I usually cant think of what to call the town.
    Anyway, you did such a great job with the third chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are just so talented and I cant wait to see where your writing takes you!!!! *Throws confetti*
    Oh and I think my family is making Christmas cookies tonight, so if you want to join you can. If you cant join I’ll “bring” you some cookies when we’re done. *hands you a glass of milk* just don’t drink the milk until I come back with the cookies. 🙂

    • Maggie

      YAY!! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH, JANE!!!!!!!!!!! YESSS!!!! I was SOOOO worried about it, at first! Oooh, really? AWESOME!!! TWINSIES!!! *high-fives* Ha! Yeah, I’m hoping for the both of us being good. 😆 YAY!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH LIKE A TRILLION TIMES OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whooo!! I was hoping that little hook between the two of them would be AWESOME. (Fun fact: Calvin WAS NOT supposed to be in this story. He just showed up out of nowhere and demanded attention.) Really? THIS JUST MAKES ME SOOOO HAPPY THAT YOU’RE INTO THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!! XD

      YES! *happy dance* That’s EXACTLY what I was hoping for! I’m soooo happy to hear I’ve accomplished that. XD *gasp* GIRL!! YOU’RE JUST THE SWEETEST!!!!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve got some of the most AWESOMEST people cheering me on!!!! (Aw, THANK YOU AGAIN, JANE!)

      Ooooh, good question! I used to have that problem, too, but I’ve heard a few great tips on this. The first one, is just say a bunch of random words until something awesome comes out. Another one might be a bit hard to explain. But Jennifer A. Nielsen talked on this once and what she does is take a word and then swap letters to get something new. Like take forest and swap out some words like the f can become a k and the t and a and then you have koresa. Well, this might not be what you’re looking for so swap out some more words and make it korteska. There the Kingdom of Korteska. Does that help?

      THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! (I know I say that a lot, but I’m sooooo thankful for all of your encouragement, girl!!!!!! <33) I don't know how much talent I've got, but I'm soooo happy you think so! I can't wait to see where you writing goes, too, Girl!!!!!!!!! <33

      YUM! DEFINITELY let me in on some!!!!! Oh, yeah, I'm TOTALLY joining! *hops on a plane and goes to Jane's house* *knocks on door and explains to Jane's family that I'm a good friend of Jane's* *family gives me a strange look* *I ignore it and go straight to the kitchen and find the cookies* *gobbles down ALL the cookies* *takes glass of milk and drinks it, too* XD 🤪

    • Jane

      Yes!! That will really help with the naming kingdoms!!!! Thank you!!! Hehehe…..I’m gonna have a whole notebook full of weird names for kingdoms now if I do the letter swap thing.
      Help your self to as many cookies as you want. Although you might have my little brothers to deal with afterwards. They REALLY like cookies…and candy….and ice cream….and pretty much anything with sugar. *hands you more cookies anyway* Wait, you came to my house? why didn’t you come up to my bedroom and say hi to me?! XDD I hope that someday I get to meet you in person. (You know, like when one of your books gets published, *cough, cough*In To The Lamp *cough, cough* and you do a book signing )

      • Maggie

        YAY! I’m SOOOO HAPPY I could help!!!!!!!! THAT. IS. A. GENIUS. IDEA!!!!!!!!! Why haven’t I thought of that before?

        YUM!!!! *takes all the cookies* *gobbles them down really fast so Jane’s brothers don’t get to them first* XD I can, honestly, relate. If its got sugar, you better be saving me a piece. XD 😉 YESS TO ALL THE COOKIES!!!!!!!! Hehehe…I was sneaky. You have a very beautiful house by the way, and I found your family to be awesome. (Though, I might should give them a few tips on the how-to-be-crazy department. XD 😉 ) YESS!!!!! If I ever get to do a book signing close to where you’re at, I’ll be expecting you to stop by. Even if that means driving a few hours. You can handle the trip to meet you favorite author *cough, cough* me *cough, cough* in person. XDD 😉

        • Jane

          Every time I get an idea for a book, or find a name I really like, I have this notebook I take everywhere so that I can write them down and not forget them. I think I’ve got about thirteen ideas in it right now. (only five or six are any good though) You should use a notebook! it really helps me get my ideas out fo my head so that I don’t forget them. 🙂

          Thank you I’m glad someone thinks it’s beautiful. 🙂
          Oh you must have caught my family at the wrong time for the craziness to happen, my parents actually made the spaghetti from elf and ate it while we were watching the movie this year. Then, me and brother will get up at five in the morning on April fools day just to rig the house with pranks. And the list goes on and on. 😛
          I will be the first one in line at your book signing! Don’t hold me to that, but I will try.
          I will get on a plane and fly to one of you book signings if I have to!
          Well, then we all know who your new favorite author is going to be *cough, cough* Me *cough, cough* Jennifer A. Nielsen better move over. XDD

          • Maggie

            THAT’S SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a few notebooks, but I never seem to have them around when I need them. 😂 But I should try to get back to using them!!!

            Oh, is it not beautiful? (Maybe, my definition of beautiful isn’t the same as everyone else’s. XD)
            WHAT??!!! THAT’S JUST AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I’ve mentioned wanting to try that spaghetti from Elf, but no one in my family seems to think that’s a good idea. 😉 WOW! That sounds like SOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!! Next April Fool’s day, I’m coming to you for some tips. I must’ve not shown up at the right time, then. It sounds like your family doesn’t need any tips on the wacky department. I like them already!!!!!!!!! 😜

            YES!!! Oh, I’m soooooo holding you to that. 😉 Listen, Jane, here’s some wise advice that comes from an old Jedi named Yoda: “You do or do not. There is no try.” 😜😜😜 (Nah, I’m just messing with you, girl. XD)
            YES!!! Maybe, if your good, I’ll provide the plane ticket. XD 😉
            Fair enough! Sorry, Jennifer Nielsen, you just wasn’t as cool as Jane. XDD *cough, cough* but Sage is still the greatest fictional character on earth *cough, cough* XDDD 🤪🤪🤪🤪😆😆

            • Jane

              My house is one hundred years old and needs a makeover. I mean honestly, who thought it was a good idea to put carpet in the bathroom.
              Thank you! Yes, I think my family is good when it comes to wackiness.
              Well, I wouldn’t say I’m good at pranks but here are a few I pulled last year that worked.

              1. We have a fan in our living room so I put confetti on it, had everyone come in to the room and sit under the fan, then turned it on. Confetti was EVERYWHERE but it was so funny.

              2. You freeze a cup of water. then find a flat surface and let it melt upside down with a note next to it saying “Have fun cleaning this up”.

              3. Put food coloring on the sink faucet so that when they turn it on, the water is the color of the food coloring. I really freaked my sister out with this one.

              4. I really like to use plastic wrap on the bottom of the door way so that, unless they’er looking down, they end up tangled in it.

              Yes you can buy the plane ticket! 😛 *dose happy dance* I beat Jennifer Nielsen!!!
              Okay, fine FOR NOW sage is the best book character. But, in the some what near future mine will become best and sage will just have to be satisfied with second best character. XD

              • Maggie

                Actually, living in an old house is REALLY COOL!!!!!!!! Hahaha!! Well, the carpet in the bathroom might be a bit of a downside. XD

                My family is a little wacky sometimes….

                LOL!! Those pranks sound AMAZING!!!!!!!!! I’ve not really come very close to pulling a good prank. So, I’m definitely taking these ideas into serious consideration….hehehe.

                YAY!!!! *throws confetti* That’s a SERIOUS accomplishment to beat Jennifer Nielsen. 😉 Alright FOR NOW Sage will be the best. In the hopefully nearer future he’ll get pushed down to three. #1 is Genie #2 is your character and then it can be Sage. XD Sorry, Sage!! Just enjoy being #1 while you have the chance. XD

                • Jane

                  Thanks! Yes the carpet is a big down side, along with a lot of other things. 🙂

                  Yes! Enjoy the pranks! Don’t forget to tell me how they work out.
                  Agreed, FOR NOW Sage is the best book character then 1# is Colette (mine) 2# is Genie 3# is Sage, who better get comfy in third because it doesn’t look like he’ll be in first for long. XD

                  • Maggie

                    Hahaha! Well, it’s still cool to live in an old house. 🙂

                    Okey-dokey!!!! TOTALLY will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    I guess Colette will be #1 for me and Genie will be #1 for you, then!! Poor, poor, Sage. XD

              • Katherine

                Haha, I love those pranks!!!!!!!!!!😆 They are genius!!!!!!! One year on April Fool’s I drew a spider on a toilet paper roll and it scared my mom!😂 That was probably the best prank I pulled. I’m gonna remember these though, for next April Fool’s Day!

  • Trixie

    Wow. WOW. WOW!!!!!!! That was definitely my favorite chapter yet!!! The fight scene was really good!!! I really liked the way you described it. The story is so intriguing. You described it really well, and everything seemed to flow. I could really seem to picture the setting with the adjectives you used. I wish this was a published book I could hold in my hands and not stop reading till one am. But for now, I can’t wait till next weekend!!!!!!

    • Maggie

      THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH, TRIXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Really? You're just TOO SWEET, GIRL!!!!!!!! I'm SMILING SOOOO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phew! *dramatically wipes forehead* YAY!!! You're probably just being nice, though. I mean, I'm not so sure it turned out that good, but THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!! I'm soooooo happy you think so!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Aw, Girl, this comment is just making me SUPER EXCITED to write the next chapter!! I wish it could be a published book, too. But it seems I'm having a bit of a problem in THAT area, but hopefully, maybe one day. *crossing fingers* YES!!! Honestly, this seems like the kind of story I'd do the SAME THING with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! ME, NEITHER!!!!!!!! <33 (Though, it might end up being the weekend after that one 'cause of Christmas and stuff.)

  • Trixie

    thank you SO much Maggie!!!! You are so sweet!!! I am really happy I could make you smile!! AND NO WAY WAS I JUST BEING NICE!!! Everything I said was absolutely true!!! That’s ok, I will hopefully be getting a lot of books for Christmas that I’ll have till then. 🙂 <3

    • Maggie

      You’re SO VERY WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aw, you are, too, Girl!!!!!!!! Much love to ya!!!! <33 <33 Girl, you ALWAYS make me smile!!!!!! I'm sooooo blessed to have you as a reader and friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS, GIRL!!!!! You're just BEYOND SWEET!!!!!!!!!! <33 THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!! I hope you get TONS of books for Christmas!! Maybe the wait will be less agonizing. XD 😉 <33

  • Anna

    I need more!!!!!!!!!!!! That was sooo good!!!! I just want a little more clarity on the part where she “engaged the first man and threw my arrow in the other man’s direction.” Do you mean that she shot the arrow from her bow, or she actually threw it, like it was a dagger/sword? Other than that, I thought that it was absolutely AMAZING!!!!

    • Maggie

      THANK YOU LIKE A TRILLION TIMES OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Yes, I will TOTALLY work on clarifying that. THANK YOU for pointing it out!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH, ANNA!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS SOOOO MUCH TO HEAR THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 I hope the rest of the story ends up as good!!

  • Lily

    Hi Maggie! Merry (early) Christmas!

    This was a really good chapter; sentence structure was good (and you did this in under 24 hours?!) I’m lucky enough to get my characters to cooperate for one scene in one day, much less a whole chapter in one day! (yeah, they need a talking to. XD) And wait! What happens to Robyn and Calvin now?! Where is Locksley and why doesn’t she want to go there?! Where’s Little John??? ACCKK!!! So many questions!!! *ahem* I’m ok. I’m ok…

    Okay, regarding the fight scene. It was good. It was filled with action and you get the idea that people did die or get wounded, without excessive gory detail. One thing I’d like to suggest is trying out shorter sentences and mixing them with the longer ones. They add tension to the story (I think I saw someone give a similar suggestion.)

    You did a great job with this line of description of Robyn’s cell: “death’s grimy fingers were wrapped around this room”. We get a clear sense of Robyn’s setting. Clear specific details really help the reader picture the scene and feel real too. Really really good. 🙂

    If I may suggest one more tip for fight scenes; it sometimes helps me to go through a favorite or well written book, and take note of how authors handle pacing in intense scenes (I actually did this with some parts in the False Prince).

    All in all, Maggie, great job. I look forward to seeing how the story unfolds. And I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas (with lots of blessings!)

    • Maggie

      Hi, Lily!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33

      THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, it was hard, and I felt like all creativity had basically left me after that, but also kind of exciting!!! Ha, my characters rarely cooperate, so sometimes I've just gotta go with what they're doing. (You should tell them to listen to you 'cause you're AWESOME and Maggie said so!) Hehehe...AAAHHHH We shall never know!!!! Until chapter 4, of course. XD 😉 Though, I will partly answer your question about Locksley, 'cause people who've read the Robin Hood stories will already know. Locksley Town is where Robin was from in the stories before he became an outlaw. For Robyn that was also where she grew up. As to why she doesn't wanna go back....that I can't tell you. 🙂

      Oooooh, that's an AWESOME tip!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm DEFINITELY gonna try that one out!!!!!!! Yes. Shorter sentences do add tension, which I think is probably why Robyn's story is so far having more of them than other stories I write, but that's a good idea to put them in fight scenes! Actually, I LOVE THE IDEA!!!!!! THANK YOU AGAIN for sharing this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      THANK YOU SOOO MUCH, LILY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you found the details clear and specific, 'cause that's another hard area for me! But I've been working in it. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

      Oooh, YES! I've heard this tip before and have also actually studied The False Prince's fight scenes (*high-fives ya*), but I didn't think about watching the pacing, so that's another AWESOME IDEA!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!! I actually feel ready to tackle the next fight scene in this story! The good thing, is that with so many of them and you guys giving me great tips, maybe we can watch how my fight scenes hopefully get better!

      THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Me, too!! I hope it ends up as exciting as how my mind has it!! XD Aw, THANK YOU AGAIN, GIRL!!!!!!!! Same to you!!! And good luck with your writing and all!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! Much love to you!!!!!!! 💕💕🎄🎄

    • Issabelle

      YES!!!! VERY helpful!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! Same to you!!!! 🙂

      P.S. I’m changing my name back to my real one Issabelle, ’cause that’s what I wanna publish under. Though, you can still call me Maggie because I still ADORE that name! I’m cool with whatever.

  • Jen

    Okay, that cliffhanger ending was mean. I’m kidding, I’m kidding! It was a really great ending!!! But seriously, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!? :O Where is Little John? HOW DOES ROBYN ESCAPE!? This chapter was really good! ^_^

    My only critique is the times you used “right as” I think just “as” would work better? It would make the writing feel tighter and not make me think Robyn was going to the right as she moved as in this sentence; “I ducked right as the tip of his blade drove forward…” I’m confused if she ducked to the right or if she merely ducked as the blade came forward? If she did duck to the right maybe add “to the” to clarify? Did I explain that okay? Oh, one more thing, Joy Caroline already mentioned it, but “ruff” is the sound a dog makes, I think you meant “rough”? But don’t worry about it, I type “ruff” instead of “rough” all. the. time. XD It doesn’t help that I’m a phonetic speller and don’t always catch my typos. 😉 All of that aside, this chapter really was great and I think you did a great job on your fight scene! ^_^ Can’t wait for the next chapter!!! *bites nails in anticipation* 😉

    • Issabelle

      I know right!!! What’s wrong with me! XD THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 I....have, honestly, no idea. *sheepish smile* I'm actually still trying to figure out where in the world Little John went. He might've escaped after Robyn was knocked out. (?????) YAY!!!!!!!!!! I'm SUPER HAPPY you think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Oof, yeah, I see how that's confusing. THANK YOU for pointing it out!!!!!!!! Oh, yes, you explained it just fine! I'm TOTALLY Gonna fix that. SAME!!!! ALL. THE. TIME!!!!!!!! But THANK YOU for also mentioning that. Hey, I totally feel ya, sister. 😉 THANK YOU SOO MUCH, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phew! That's SUPER relieving to hear. YAY!!!!! Me, neither!!!!!!!!!!!

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